Better late than never, right? Right? Well, at any rate here you go, you animals.
In this episode I'll chow down on a spicy little meatball called Starcrash, a 1979 low-budget Italian ripoff of Star Wars. If you enjoyed listening to me suffer through some bad Korean anime, you'll love this one!
Available in streaming format to the right, on your favorite podcatcher, or by direct download.
Click it, you know you want to.
From the news segment: Studio Ghibli and JAL (those links are in Japanese, knock yourselves out) announce loads of fun stuff to coincide with the 15th anniversary of Porco Rosso (profiled in episode 2 of this very show).
Akton, cosmic know-it-all. Just look at that smirk lurking below the surface!
Thor, Chief of the Imperial Police. It's not easy bein' green.
Police Robot Elle, or L. El maybe? Who cares.
Robot by birth, Texan by the grace of God.
Christopher Plummer earns a paycheck as the Emperor of the Galaxy.
Joe Spinnell as his counterpart, Count Zarth Arn.
This is perhaps the least melodramatic look he has in the whole movie.
David Hasselhoff as Simon. Aw yeah. How much you wanna bet he remembers this?
And there's OH DEAR GOD WHERE DID THAT COME FROM AAAAAAGH
Red lava lamp blobs attacking the crew...
...of the Murray Leinster!
Space helmet, water jug, or piss pot? YOU MAKE THE CALL!
The Honorable William F. Squidface.
Emperor Ming's soldiers want their outfits back when you're done, okay guys?
What this movie had too much of: Akton's smugness.
What this movie didn't have enough of: leather bikinis.
Even though there was quite a bit of it...
You could always use more, right? Right?
The Amazon queen activates the craptacular statue with OPTIC BLASTS.
Worst. Stop motion. EVER.
"This is an energy shield mask. But the energy is limited."
"Duck season!" "Wobot season! Fire!"
Again, not nearly as thrilling as it would appear.
Don't hassle the Hoff about his makeup.
Polite fighter pilots always fly in single file.
"He's got the whole world in his hands..."
This is what plastic model sprues and a can of gold spray paint can get you.
"Say, is that a torpedo?" "Why yes it is!" "Is there a breeze?" "Must be your imagination."
Of all the myriad forms of life in the universe, none suck more than space marines.
Count Zarth Arn is just not a threatening guy.
No, really, he isn't.
Oh come on, now you're just being silly.
"Can I interest you in a doughnut? Some cake, perhaps?"
Count Zarth Arn experiences the Quickening.